Fic: Nathan, chapter 9/?

You'll never believe it. This fic is now over 28,000 words long! That's 71 pages of document (depending on font...).This chapter was particularly fun to write, and I know that frodosweetstuff has a certain soft spot for it, so I'll take the opportunity to thank her again for being such a good listener throughout all of this. Without her poking motivating me, this would probably still be stuck in chapter 1.This chapter's a long one. Hope it'll post.....Title: Nathan, 9/?Rating: (this part) GPairing: Sean/ElijahSummary: Elijah needs Sean’s help.Prologue || One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven || EightChapter Nine“Don’t worry, we’ll be fine!” Hannah sighs, rolling her eyes as she jiggles the baby on her knee.Elijah frowns at his sister. “Just let me show you how to do it.”“I think I can handle a diaper, Elijah!”“Fine,” he exhales, “but don’t come crying to me when you’ve got babyshit all down your skirt.”From behind him he hears Sean stifle a snort.“You’ll be gone for like, an hour at most,” Hannah points out in exasperation. “How much damage can he do?”“You’d be surprised,” Elijah says darkly. “Just… watch out when you change him. And if you feed him, keep a towel handy in case he pukes.”“Okay,” she says. “Now go! Before Sean decides you’re not worth the wait.”Elijah ignores his sister’s words to savour a faint sound of protest from the doorway. Sean has been standing there for a good ten minutes now, patiently waiting for Elijah to finish giving his last-minute instructions to Hannah before they leave for his mom’s house.“Okay, we’re going.” He fumbles with the keys as he retrieves them from the coffee table. Hannah watches him from the couch, dandling Nathan. “Say ‘bye daddy’,” she croons to him, taking one chubby arm and waving it. “‘bye daddy.’”“God, don’t say that,” Elijah groans as he stumbles for the door and the awaiting Sean. His insides are churning enough already without adding that word to the equation:Daddy.He can feel Sean studying him on their way down in the elevator. He doesn’t realise that he is tapping his keys erratically on the steel handrail until Sean touches his arm.“Sorry.” He shoves the keys into his jeans pocket.“Nervous?” Sean smiles sympathetically.“Try fucking shitting myself.”Sean’s hand squeezes his arm. “It’ll be okay.”Elijah sighs, wondering how Sean ever convinced him to take this trip to tell his mother of Nathan’s existence. He can only begin to imagine how she will react. This isn’t how she raised him.The elevator dings at the ground floor and Sean touches his arm again in reassurance as they emerge into the lobby. Joey the doorman gives them a smile and a curious look as they pass. Ordinarily, Elijah would have stopped for a chat. He likes Joey; a student working long hours for his degree. He sees Sean glance at him suspiciously as they exit the building.“I’ll drive?” Sean suggests. Elijah nods without argument; Sean is probably convinced that his nerves will send them careening off the freeway if he lets Elijah behind the wheel.They take Elijah’s car, to his relief --Sean can’t tell him not to smoke. By the time they reach the exit that will take them to his mother’s home he is shoving his second cigarette butt into the ashtray.“You’re doing the right thing, you know,” Sean comments, watching Elijah’s hands with a frown as he removes a third clove from the pack.Elijah snorts. “Doesn’t make it any easier.” He lights up.“She loves you. She’ll understand.”Elijah takes a drag from his cigarette and exhales, angling the smoke out the half-open window. “She’ll blame herself. She’s always been so worried that something like this will happen to me. Always wondering if she should take me out of acting.”“You aren’t a child anymore, Elijah. This has nothing to do with the choices she made.”“Doubt she’ll see it that way.”“These things happen. You say you used protection, what else could you have done?”Elijah stares at him. This is a very different outlook to the one Sean took upon learning the truth of Nathan’s conception. What happened to the Sean who was furious at him for taking such a risk? “You’ve changed your tune.”Sean shoots him a sideways glance before returning his gaze to the road. “I can’t be sorry that Nathan’s alive, Elijah.”He blinks. “Oh.”The car slows as it nears his mother’s driveway and Sean goes on, “your mom will see it that way eventually, even if she doesn’t now. Everything happens for a reason. You just don’t know what it is yet.” He pulls to a stop in front of the gate and leans out the window to reach the silver keyplate, punching in the number that Elijah tells him.The gate rolls open and they continue up the short driveway, parking at the front of the house that will always be home to Elijah. He looks out the windscreen at the California-style front with its large windows and arched doorway, thinking over Sean’s last words. He’s not entirely sure that he agrees everything happens for a reason --shit definitely happens sometimes, with no good coming of it whatsoever. But, as he climbs from the car he realises he has to agree: he’s not sorry Nathan was born. The living, breathing, shitting, puking, farting baby is here now. And Elijah would never wish to take that life from him. He can’t regret what happened.With that thought, he looks up at his mother’s house and feeling slightly calmer leads the way to the front door.She opens it before he reaches the stoop. She’s wearing casual sweats and a red fleece cardigan, her silver-streaked hair tied in a knot at the base of her head. “Elijah!” she breathes as soon as she steps into view. “Hello sweetheart. I wasn’t expecting you today!” Swooping forwards she scoops him into a brief, tight hug. Elijah presses his cheek to the knit of her cardigan, feeling his pulse hammer in his chest. This is it.She draws back, spotting Sean behind him. “And Sean,” she beams. “You’re here too, how lovely.”“Morning ma’am,” Sean says brightly, coming to a stop beside them.“It’s Debbie,” she corrects with a mock-scold. She turns back to Elijah. “You look tired, honey. Not sleeping well?”“I guess,” he says with a nervous smile.She scrutinizes him for a moment, then stepping back gestures for them to come inside. Elijah follows after her, painfully aware of the strangeness of his visit. He has never brought Sean to his mother’s house for no apparent reason, especially since he himself moved out.“I just made a pot of coffee,” she says as they move through the entrance into the living room. The sheer curtains on the single large window are pulled back, sunlight turning the cream wallpaper gold. Elijah looks about the room and sucks in a breath, feeling his nerves double as his gaze takes in the photo frames lining the mantle and sideboard, the family portrait hanging proudly above the couch.“Are you boys hungry?”“Mom,” he says, his throat tight. “There’s something I have to tell you.”She stops, looking at him. Her smile melts slightly. Glancing at Sean and back again, she nods. “Okay honey. Just let me get the coffee first. You two sit down. Coffee, Sean?”“Oh, yes please Debbie.”“How do you take it?”“Just black for me.”Elijah watches, slightly helpless as his mother sweeps from the room into the kitchen. Sean touches his elbow. “Come on, lets sit.”Elijah allows himself to be led over to the couch and urged into the seat. Sean sits beside him, wearing his best bracing expression. Elijah inhales, exhales slowly. “God, what do I say?”“Just tell her straight out. Don’t hedge. Be honest and direct.”Elijah rubs his face, wishing he could have a cigarette. If Sean weren’t here, he would already be out the door and sprinting for the horizon. “Why am I doing this?” he mutters.Sean puts a hand on his knee. “Elijah, it’ll be--” he pulls his hand away as Elijah’s mom returns, carrying a tray with three steaming mugs. She hands out the coffee and sits in the armchair opposite them with her own flower-patterned mug.“Now,” she says, sipping delicately from the rim of the cup. “We can talk.”Elijah swallows hard. This is it, this is it. “Er,” he looks for support at Sean, who merely nods. He looks back at his mother. “I don’t really know how to tell you this, mom…”She holds up a hand. “It’s okay, honey. You don’t have to say a word.”“Huh?”“I already know what you’re going to say.”Elijah’s mouth drops open. “How-how could you know?” He exchanges a panicked look with Sean. “Did Hannah say something?”“Hannah? Gracious, no,” she says with a smile, leaning forward to set her mug on the coffee table. “You don’t think I’m that blind, do you?”“Er,”“I’ve known this was coming for a long time,” she says, amazingly still smiling. “Don’t look so shocked, Elijah.”He shakes his head, failing to comprehend. “I don’t get --how could you know?”“Honestly, Elijah!” she grins, sitting back and crossing her arms. “How could I not know? I admit I didn’t like the idea at first, but I’ve thought about it, and honey, whatever makes you happy is okay with me.”Elijah blinks. This isn’t making any sense. He hasn’t seen or spoken to his mother since Nathan’s arrival. How could she have deduced that Elijah has been secretly housing a baby in his apartment for the last week? Unless something has leaked to the media… something he hasn’t noticed…“You should have seen him,” his mom says brightly, turning to Sean. “When he came home from New Zealand for the first time. He talked about you more than the movie! That was when I first thought ‘uh-oh, something’s going on here!’ I always wondered when you boys were going to get around to--”“Mom!” Elijah cries, finally realising what she is saying. “Mom, that’s not… You’ve got the wrong idea!”She closes her mouth, frowning. Elijah stares at her in horror. Jesus fucking… she thought that he and Sean had come to tell her that they’re… oh god. Oh christ allmighty. He cannot make himself look at Sean, silent and very stiff beside him.“Mom,” he grates out shakily, face all but blistering with heat. “Sean and I are not… we’ve never… that’s not it at all!”“Oh,” she puts a hand over her mouth in dismay. “I’m sorry boys, I thought--”“No. Nononono.”“Oh dear,” she says, looking from Elijah to Sean and back again. “I’ve said too much, haven’t I? But honestly, Elijah. You really should stop beating around the bush and tell him--”“Mom!” he shrieks, jumping in his seat. He feels close to flinging himself out the nearest window. Beside him, Sean shifts slightly but remains deathly silent. Fuck! Fuckity Holy fucking God. Can this get any worse? His face is now so hot he is sure it will start peeling off. Before his mom can seal his imminent demise by describing to Sean every wet dream he has ever had, he blurts: “I’m here to tell you I have a son!”Her face drops so abruptly it’s like she has fallen paralysed.“A girl I met in Vancouver came over the other day and told me we have a kid,” he says quickly. “A baby, about three months old.”The silence is absolute. Even Elijah’s erratic heartbeat seems to have shuddered to a halt. His mother sits before him, frozen in shock. She blinks twice, three times and then her shaking hands cover her mouth.“I’ve been helping him out,” Sean cuts in, speaking at last.“She left the baby with me for a few weeks,” Elijah explains. “And I didn’t know what to do, so I called Sean.” He suddenly realises that his mother might be offended that he didn’t call her first. She shows no sign of registering this, however, continuing to stare at him in stunned disbelief.“He’s back at the apartment with Hannah right now. I can… I can bring him over, if you want to see him? We’ll go get him now.”She looks at him for a long moment. Then she gives the slightest, barely perceptible nod.“Okay,” Elijah gusts out. “Okay. We’ll be back.” And with that he stands, striding from the living room, leaving Sean to hurry after him.He can hear him saying something apologetic to his mom as he exits by the front door but doesn’t notice if she responds. Sean catches up as he reaches the car.“You didn’t have to leave so quickly.”Elijah realises his hands are shaking as he fumbles twice with the doorhandle. Forcing himself to get a grip he yanks it open and clambers into the passenger seat. Seconds later Sean joins him on the driver’s side.“You okay?”“What do you fucking think?” he snaps, still unable to bear looking at Sean. He glares out the passenger window, waiting for him to express his disgust at what his mom accidentally revealed.“She’s just shocked at the moment, Elijah.” Sean’s words are so gentle and unexpected that Elijah cannot formulate a response. Without warning, Sean grabs the side of his face and turning it towards him says: “Look, you don’t know what she’s feeling at the moment. Lets just go get Nathan and see what she has to say once she has met him.”Elijah stares at him. Had Sean listened to a word she said? Had he been there at all? Somehow, he thinks that Elijah is only upset by his mom’s reaction to the news. Does the rest of what happened mean nothing to him?Elijah can only nod. “Okay.”“Okay.” Sean releases him, turns to the steering wheel and starts the ignition. He backs down the drive without another word as Elijah sits stunned, wondering at his luck.On the way back to his apartment, however, he notices that Sean is unusually quiet. After spending the entire trip there --indeed, the entire morning-- boosting him with encouragement, his silence now leaves him feeling slightly deflated.His cheeks are still burning with humiliation. But he can’t say nothing. God, what Sean must be thinking… “Um,” he says tentatively into the silence, “I hope you’re not worried by what mom said.”Sean glances at him, looking for a moment as though about to pretend he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Then he looks back at the road. “Why would I be worried?”“I just thought you might be… offended.”They turn into Elijah’s street. “No, not at all. That’s about the last thing that could offend me.”Elijah blinks at him, but Sean refuses to look in his direction as he eases off the gas, slowing as the driveway nears. “Good,” Elijah says at last, still unsure what Sean meant. “I don’t know where she got that idea from.” He gives a nervous half-laugh, which he quickly stifles as Sean sighs.“You don’t have to spell it out, Elijah.”His heart thumps. “What do you mean?” Oh shit. He has protested too much. He’s being too obvious…“That you’d never--” he sighs again, falling silent as he pulls into Elijah’s space in the garage. He parks and turns off the ignition.Elijah gives him a baffled look. “I’d never what?”“Forget it.”“No, never what, Sean?”Unbuckling his seatbelt, Sean makes as though to exit the car. But Elijah catches his wrist. “Tell me.”Sean frowns, twisting his arm free. “It’s just not exactly flattering, is it? Your mom makes an assumption and you immediately go out of your way to declare that you’d never be interested in… no, forget it.” He yanks the doorhandle and climbs out before Elijah can say a word.Jesus fucking shit. Way to make things worse, Elwood. Of course self-conscious Sean would be hurt by his denial, taking it to mean that Elijah finds the idea of being attracted to him insulting. He looks out the window to see Sean striding towards the lobby and throws his door open, calling:“Sean, wait!”An elderly woman passing in the street looks around at his outburst but Elijah ignores her, jogging over to Sean. “I didn’t mean it like that!”Sean shakes his head, not looking at him. “I said forget it.”“No, you can’t say something like that and then not talk about it.” He grabs Sean’s shoulder, turning him to face him as an impossible thought occurs. “Sean, do you… do you want me to be interested?”Sean glances around and at the same time Elijah becomes aware of where they are standing. Three of his neighbours are in the downstairs lobby, staring at them through the glass doors. “This isn’t the time,” Sean says, lowering his voice. “Lets just get Nathan and take him to your mom’s.”Elijah gives him a searching look and finally nods, determined to waylay Sean as soon as they reach the apartment. If he lets this go now, he suspects that they will never return to the subject. He has to know what Sean meant.In the lobby they run into Sarah of the couple from the apartment below Elijah’s. She waves enthusiastically as she spots them, trotting over. “Good morning Elijah,” she beams.Elijah does his best to return the cheerful greeting, introducing Sean beside him.“Ah, yes,” she smiles as she shakes his hand, “I’ve seen Sean around a bit lately.”Sean looks slightly uncomfortable at this and Elijah guesses that he is internally attempting to gauge the trustworthiness of this woman.“How’s your nephew?”“Nephew?” It takes him a moment to understand what she’s talking about.“Yes. The baby that Trent and I saw you with last week.”Sean looks even further discomforted.“Oh, he’s doing well,” Elijah says distractedly, trying to find a way of ending the conversation, and now.“He’s so adorable. Is he your sister’s?”“No!” Elijah gasps before he has time to consider. The idea of his little Hannah having a baby… nononono. “Um, he’s… my brother’s,” he explains quickly, very aware of Sean’s sideways glance. “Um, I don’t meant to be rude, Sarah, but we really have to keep moving. We just came in to collect a few things, then we’re going out again.”“Oh, that’s okay. Busy schedule, I understand,” she waves a hand, smiling. “See you later, Elijah. Nice meeting you, Sean.”Nodding to her they hurry past into the empty elevator as she heads in the opposite direction. The doors roll closed on them and Elijah decides he can’t wait until they are in the apartment before he attempts to uncover Sean’s feelings. “Sean,” he begins.“Did you tell that woman that Nathan is your nephew?” Sean cuts in.“Um. Yeah. I met her on the way back from the doctor’s the other day.”“Oh.” Sean frowns in concern. Elijah rolls his eyes.“Look, we can trust my neighbours, Sean. I’ve lived here for more than six months now. I’d know if there was anything dodgy going on.”Sean only frowns more. “I hope you’re right.”“I am.”They lapse into silence, but before Elijah can return to the conversation he’s so desperate to finish, the elevator clunks to a stop.The first thing Elijah is aware of as they step into the hall is the faint sound of a baby’s cry. He hurries forward and bursting into his apartment finds Hannah pacing the living room with Nathan in her arms, trying to soothe him as he wails at the top of his tiny lungs.Elijah rushes over at once and gathers the baby to his chest, crooning: “hey, what’s the matter Natey? It’s okay.”Nathan nuzzles his face into his neck, whimpering pitifully. Elijah pats his back, continuing to murmur calming words. He turns to Hannah.“How long has he been crying?”“Started as soon as you guys left,” she answers, looking slightly frazzled as she collapses on the couch. “Wouldn’t have a bottle, didn’t need changing…”“Poor little guy,” Elijah sighs.Sean steps over and smooths a gentle hand over the baby’s head. “Since his momma left, he’s probably afraid of being abandoned again,” he says quietly.Elijah doesn’t look at him, feeling guilt seize somewhere in the base of his stomach. He rocks from foot to foot, holding Nathan close. The baby snuffles miserably as his cries quieten into soft, throaty hiccups. “Poor little guy,” Elijah murmurs into the top of his head. “Poor baby. My poor baby.”He looks up just in time to see Sean and Hannah exchanging a significant glance.“What?”“Nothing,” Hannah grins.“Come on,” Sean says. “We’d better get going before your mom thinks we’ve forgotten her.”Hannah decides to accompany them, so together they collect Nathan’s things and leave via the stairway into the garage rather than the elevator in order to avoid people in the lobby. At the last moment Sean decides that it will be safer to carry the baby down the stairs instead of lugging him in the carrier. Elijah takes Nathan into his arms and follows Sean with the baby carseat and Hannah with the diaper bag.By the time the four of them have loaded into the car, Elijah’s nerves have returned in full swing. Horrible scenarios surface in his mind. His mother, taking one look at Nathan and disowning them both. His mom, ranting about safe sex and how grievously disappointed she is. His mom, blaming herself for his failure.Matters are not helped when Nathan begins to cry again and refuses to be soothed until they pull over and Sean changes his diaper on the back seat.His mom is waiting on the front porch when Sean pulls up in the driveway. Elijah takes his bloody-tasting thumbnail from his mouth and climbs out of the car, shakily asking Hannah to help him unbuckle Nathan’s belt and lift him out.He can feel Hannah and Sean watching anxiously as he carries the baby towards his mom. She remains frozen, staring at him as he approaches, only at the last moment lifting her arms for Elijah to hand the infant over.Nathan grizzles, squinting in the sunlight. Elijah catches his lip between his teeth, breath held as his mom cradles Nathan to her chest, gazing down at the tiny boy.Without warning she bursts into tears.“Mom!” Elijah barely suppresses the immediate impulse to rush forwards and hug her.“Oh Elijah,” she breathes, freeing a hand to wipe her eyes. “Oh honey. He’s beautiful.” She sniffs. “What’s his name?”“Nathan,” Elijah tells her with a gust of relief. This is okay. His mom is definitely overwhelmed, but she doesn’t seem angry…“Nathan.” She strokes the baby’s cheek, smiling as Nathan turns his head towards her fingers, trying to capture them in his mouth. Grandmother and grandchild regard each other for a long time and Elijah’s chest feels suddenly tight.“Come on little one,” she croons softly, “lets get you out of the sun.”Inside, his mom settles herself in the living room with Nathan on her lap. Elijah sits on the couch beside her while Hannah and Sean take the two armchairs opposite. They talk idly for a moment about how Elijah and Sean have been caring for Nathan, and Elijah’s shock when he was handed the child he hadn’t known about.“So I take it that you and the mother aren’t…” his mom waves her hand.“No,” Elijah says quickly. “I hadn’t even seen her for a whole year until she turned up with Nathan.” He glances sideways and notices Sean look at his shoes.“And you’re sure he’s yours?”“Yep. I had a test done.”She nods. “It would be easier for you both if you could be married, of course.”“I couldn’t marry anyone for a baby, mom.” He can’t help but look at Sean again.“Oh, I know that. I was just saying…” she sighs. “It is going to be difficult for you both. You realise that this child changes everything. You will arrange a joint custody, won’t you?”“Mom…” And just that quickly, the warmth that had grown in his chest at his mother’s apparent acceptance dies with a flicker. “She’s putting Nathan up for adoption.”“Adoption?” his mom gasps, “no, you can’t let her! If you file for custody--”“No, mom that--”“You have paternal rights; no court in their right mind would allow--”“Mom, I can’t keep him!”She closes her mouth, stunned.“He’s giving him away!” Hannah suddenly bursts out. “He’s letting him be adopted!”“Hannah,” Sean says in a pacifying tone.“Is that true?” his mom asks, staring at him with incomprehension.Elijah rubs his face. “I think it’s best, don’t you?” he says, hating the desperation in his voice. “Amanda doesn’t want him, and I can’t be a single parent. I’m not exactly in a good position to be all that he needs.”“But you’ll have me,” she insists, “move home, I’ll help you. You won’t ever have to do any of it alone.”He looks up at her. “You’d help me?”“Of course I would!” she hugs Nathan to her chest. “This is my grandson we’re talking about. Honey… you didn’t decide to give him away because you thought I wouldn’t approve, did you?”“No,” he says quickly. “No, it’s not that.” But he doesn’t tell her that her opinion had definitely been a matter of significance. “I just… can’t,” he finishes lamely.“Why not?”It’s a fair enough question, but it fills Elijah with a surge of defensive anger. “Because I just can’t!” He looks around at Hannah and Sean, knowing which side they are on and feeling neatly cornered. “I didn’t ask for this to happen,” he tells all three of them. “I have too much to do. What about my work? My music?”“Elijah,” his mom snaps, suddenly stern. “We both know you aren’t that selfish.”He deflates. No, he isn‘t. His own career and interests have barely crossed his mind since the baby arrived. This isn’t about him. It’s about Nathan, and what is best for the child. He gazes at the baby blowing spit bubbles in his mother’s lap. What kind of a life would he have with Elijah? Motherless, inconsistent and constantly under public scrutiny.He sighs. “It would be selfish to keep him.”Elijah looks at the floor. It isn’t fucking fair that they can’t seem to understand why he needs to do this. Sean thinks he’s avoiding responsibility, Hannah thinks he’s the world’s biggest asshole… all because he’s trying to do the right thing.Looking up at his mom he sees fresh tears in her eyes. Looking as though it is causing her physical pain, she sighs: “It’s your decision, Elijah.”“What!” Hannah explodes. “That’s ridiculous. Mom, you can’t possibly let him--”“Hannah, please,” Sean cuts her off before Elijah can.She looks around at the three of them incredulously, fury in her eyes.“You’d better take him home now, Elijah,” his mom says with a sniff, though her pose suggests that letting go of Nathan is the last thing she wants to do. Her arm is curled protectively about the baby’s back, but Elijah heeds her words and not her actions, aching with guilt as he stands and prises his child from his mother’s grip.He can only begin to imagine how she feels, having been handed a grandson and only minutes later have him taken away.“When is he… going?” she asks as she takes a handkerchief from her sleeve and begins dabbing her eyes.Elijah positions Nathan on his hip. “Next week.”“Will you call me before he goes? I don’t want to get too attached, but well… I want to say goodbye.”Elijah nods mutely, a hard lump in his throat.“Oh. Before you go; I made some brownies yesterday. Come into the kitchen and you can take them home.”Elijah hands the baby to Sean and follows his mother into the wide, neat kitchen where he has consumed countless breakfasts. She rummages in a cupboard for a tupperware container and taking a large tray of brownies from the fridge begins piling the cakes inside.“I’m proud of you, you know.”Elijah leans against the scrubbed counter, watching his mother’s efficient hands. “Really?”“Yes. For trying to do the best for him. I know no one can make up your mind for you, but make sure you think really hard about it, Elijah. Think really hard before you sign him away.”He frowns. What else does she think he has been doing? Not wanting to discuss it further, he tries to change the subject slightly: “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away. I thought you’d be so angry at me.”She closes the lid on the tupperware container, sealing in the brownies. “I was surprised,” she admits. “This isn’t exactly the future I envisaged for you. But when you told me, Elijah… I wasn’t angry. I was happy.” He does a double-take. “Huh?”She smiles. “I thought… well, I’d resigned myself to the idea of you never having children.”“What? Why?”“Because of Sean.”Oh. That again. Elijah feels his cheeks heat once more. “Mom, I told you--”“Sweetheart,” she says gently. “No more lies? Please?”He closes his mouth. There isn’t anything he can say to that. He has never been able to lie very effectively, especially to his mother.“I know how you feel about him.”He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, glancing at the kitchen door and praying they can’t be heard from the living room. “Yeah. Well it doesn’t matter, does it?”“Why not?”“Because he’s married,” Elijah hisses, lowering his voice. He doesn’t bother to tell her that Sean may not be married for much longer. That is irrelevant to Elijah’s prospects. “He’s off-limits.”“Isn’t that up to Sean to decide?”He studies her sincere look. She still has tears at the edges of her eyes, but there is a definite trace of hope in their smoky hue. She wants him to be happy.“You know he’s straight, mom.” It’s surprising how easy it is to talk about now.“Maybe, but when I see the two of you together… there’s something special there, Elijah. And whether it’s only friendship or not, he deserves to know how you feel.”He thinks of the conversation he and Sean had almost had outside his apartment building. Could his mom know something he doesn’t? Has she detected some silent vibe from Sean that Elijah has been ignoring?She picks up the container of brownies and extends it towards his chest. “Tell him.”He sighs. “Okay. I will, but not just yet. There’s too much going on at the moment.”“Fair enough.”He turns to exit the kitchen but pauses when his mom calls: “Elijah?”He looks at her. “Yeah?”She bites her lip, then says: “he has your eyes, you know.”He smiles. “I know.”Continue to chapter ten